Yeah, we used to be in love (my love!), but now we're just in like - And we broke all our promises and baby that ain't right - Because you don't know what it's like to lose it all...(Streetlight Manifestio: "The Receiving End of it All")
So i was having a conversation yesterday and the topic of selfishness came up.....so that will be today's topic.
Selfishness: Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.
To an extent I believe that some amount of selfishness is permitted....for instance, not doing that extra 10 hrs of community service with your fraternity because you have a final to study for......but where do we draw the line? especially in a world where that line seldom exists anymore. IMHO most people are only out for number one (especailly at our age (early 20s)). I feel as though this makes trusting someone nearly impossible.....since all they want in the end is to improve their own situation, and what happens to you is only of consequence if it helps them......this leaves people like myself at a loss for words on most occasions....maybe i just dont understand....but maybe that's a good thing, bc i dont think i want to understand that lifestyle.
It's important to make the distinction between living your life for yourself, for one person, or for others in general......bc each has it's own pros/cons, just like everything else.
Living for yourself: is guess is great bc you only have to be accountabel for yourself..but in the end I'd think that that would be kind of a lonely eistance. After all, how can you possibly hope to make a meaningfull connection with other peoiple if, underneath it all, you really don't care about them? Answer: you can't....and you will be alone....in the worst, most difinative kind of way. I feel like this has been the downfall of many of my relationships in the past....most of the girls I dated weren't ready to break out of their selfish "freshman" mentality. A relationship requires compromise and communication, and when one party only cares about themselves, it makes it nary impossible to continue.
Living for one person: This stage can happen when in a relationship. It's great when the relationship is good bc you feel completely fulfilled (see: "in love")....but when troubles come, it feels like it's all your fault bc you've combined your happiness with that of the other person. This is something I am entirely guilty of on occasion.....i fall very quickly, and very hard, and so sometimes I lose myself a bit in the magic of a relationship.....this leads to jealousy, paranoia, and nagging.....all things that individually can be the downfall of the very thing you hold so dear. So, in this case being selfish can be a bad thing bc it leads to irrational thoughts, which have very real consequences.
Living your life for others in general: This is me in a nutshell......i do it, and i kindasorta love it. I love to make other people happy....i feed off of it, and i think it is the greatest feeling in the world (which explains my attitude whilst in a relationship...it's sort of just a focused extension of this). The thing with this mentality is that it is extremely bipolar at times.....i seem to go through these days where I am redic happy, and then others where depression seems to take all the energy from me. Most of the time im happy (or at least neutral)....but when the unhappy hits, it hits pretty hard. Being who I am requires that I am at all times open, compassionate, loyal, and trusting......some might even say gullible. I believe what most people tell me because who am I to judge whether they are giving me the truth? I have to trust that they are good people with no motive to lie or be misguiding or manipulative.....as you can tell this typically ends badly bc of the aforementioned selfishness of the general population. I get taken advantage of/led on by most people I meet....it's not necessarily that they mean to do it....they just aren't used to dealing with someone like myself....i guess?
If you've been following my blog then you know about my obsessions within blatant honesty and altruism.....I wear my heart openly on my sleeve at all times. Yes, i have my dark secrets like everyone does, but i don't lie about them if confronted.
I hate playing games too....the endless confusion of what are you saying? what did you mean by this?......it frustrates me more than the normal person bc I expect everyone to be as honest as I am....but that rly isn't fair of me I guess.
Oh this crazy world we live in......just remember......love others....if you take 1 thing from reading this or any of my posts.....just understand that Love truely is the greatest thing in this world. It can verily bring you back to life when you feel close to the edge of nothingness...it can stop tears in an instant...and it produces the greatest feelings that we can ever know.
Currently Listn'n: TobyMac - "Made to Love"
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