This whole last week has just bit a shitstorm for various reasons....work, social life, family, my future, fear of the unknown.....
This song came on one of my mixs this morning.....and I think that out of all the songs ive ever listened to.....it probably has the best glimpse into my life thus far...
I've given up on giving up slowly, I'm blending in soYou won't even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fateThis one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemptionBecause I know to live you must give your life awayAnd I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity andI've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the keyAnd I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of meAnd even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going becauseI gotta get outta hereI'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistakeI gotta get outta hereAnd I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape.I'm giving up on doing this alone nowCause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown howHe's told me the way and I'm trying to get thereAnd this life sentence that I'm servingI admit that I'm every bit deserving But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity andI've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the keyAnd I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of meAnd even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going becauseI gotta get outta hereCause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shakeI gotta get outta hereAnd I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape. I am a hostage to my own humanity Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've madeAnd all I'm asking is for You to do what You can with meBut I can't ask You to give what You already gaveCause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity andI've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the keyAnd I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of meAnd even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going becauseI've gotta get outta hereI'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistakeI've gotta get outta hereAnd I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm beggingYou to be my escape.I fought You for so longI should have let You inOh how we regret those things we doAnd all I was trying to do was save my own skin But so were You So were You
i'm oh so tired of everything right now.......i dont know how to get by....maybe ill just myself with work since i have a lot of WW stuff to do.
i tihnk i need to reevaluate the life ive been living, sometimes i feel like being the "nice guy" was a terrible choice, as only assholes seem to be happy in today's world.
...but who am i kidding, i do like the person ive become, and when it comes down to it, i would never forgive myself for not beign true to who i am and the way i believe life should be lived. Life is a gift, a precious one, not be squandored with sexual promiscuity and hate/apathy......life is meant to be LIVED....and the only way to do that is to love, unexlplicably, unabidedly, unadulturated love.
......i just cant seem to find any here
Currently Listn'n: Plain White T's - "Hate"
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